Tantra is about love and truth. That is actually true tantra – the unifying of all opposites through sense perception, in other words, through expression in this body in pure sexuality. This connection has to be from deep within the heart, where as mainstream tantra is about enjoying something for yourself. To me, tantra is the giving up of oneself.

True tantra is not about sexual excitement. It is actually about entering the stillness together and the pleasure that is encountered on going into that profundity of stillness, opening these bodies beyond what I have heard of in mainstream tantra. I am speaking of the full transformation of the masculine and the feminine in intimate union. That means great honesty and great integrity, with nothing left for the ‘me’ to hold onto i.e. Seeing through the veil of illusion that love is about ‘me’ getting anything, and having the courage, the power and wisdom to penetrate that with more intimate connection. Through the making of love, through intimacy to one’s self and with the other, making a deeper and deeper connection, you come up against so much past and so much distraction. You have to divine your way through it. That means there must be a real purpose for this connection and it does not involve the ‘me’. It is the dissolution of the ‘me’.

I am speaking of a higher purpose where the love, the attraction, is used completely and utterly to dissolve egoic distractions both in the male and the female; to bring about the pure living of love on earth and the pure demonstration of what truth is. Therefore you are bringing in the frequencies of deeper or higher resonances in your activities. That is definitely going to burn out the ego and each are going to face themselves in the fire of that love.

Mainstream tantra focuses on orgasm, sex energy and eroticism, having a good time for the ‘me’. To me, it is still conditionality in that really the attraction is to bring each other to truth - because instantly in existence truth is love, and love is truth. You have unified all opposites and you live with your partner and all beings as that ecstatic state of aliveness, and yet in the deepest place the background of your life is totally at peace. Harmony just happens.

It is not actually about orgasm; the woman striving for an orgasm or the man striving for an orgasm because that is still pulling up something for an individual egoic self, somebody who still needs something. If orgasm happens that is fine, but really it is about truth. That is the true making of love - where love opens up and flows through both the male and female principles into truth, into love, into pure being, into that pure openness. What I pick up from my journeys around the world is that most of tantra is for what you can get out of it for your own orgasmic pleasure. I am speaking about the embodiment of love, which is grounded in stillness. When we as man and woman put stillness first, which is honesty and truth, then the bodies open up from a heart centred place.

First of all you have to come to the truth that sex without love is a distortion, that true sexuality is the living for truth and that is the unfolding, in existence, of love. Without love, without truth, without deep honesty, sex is the pain and disturbance that we see as the whole world. It is the egoic attraction of getting what you want and never being fulfilled. It does not quench your thirst. True love, which is the death of the ‘me’ or the transformation of the ‘me’, quenches your thirst in the knowledge of who you are. As woman you are the embodiment of love. You have to learn to not step out of that by going up into your head. Man is the embodiment of truth and he has to learn to not step out of that for his own egoity, for his own material, mental and emotional gains. There has to be some real purpose in this draw to be together.

This takes an awful lot of power. It is the power of seeing the truth in all things, it is the love of seeing the truth in all things; whereby you begin to discover your deepest knowingness is what is true. That is what you have to function from; your life in each moment must fit your deepest knowingness.

Through your deepest knowingness together, life begins to give you a way or a passage through - you stay in the present and your life becomes more balanced because you are giving up your pressure of living for the truth of love. You are learning to rest in your knowingness each and every moment. It is that knowingness or intelligence that begins to move life in a way of harmony. This does not take five minutes. It is going to take your entire presence. Then harmony will just deepen and deepen.

It is taking responsibility for your ‘self’, the distorted self, the ‘me’. The woman takes responsibility for that and the man takes responsibility for that. You are not healing each other. You are basically being true to your innermost being. He is reflecting this awesome love that she is and woman is reflecting that awesome truth that he is, through the love in which she is being held. This is not something that you work on. This is you dissolving in and cutting into the deepest place in yourself through the integrity of what has pulled you together. The old way would be to make our pain better by having sex or creating some other distraction. This will last five
minutes - or however long it does - and create an energy that is going to hit you both in the face again. Whereas the making of love, or being as love from the purest place, fuels the transformation and opens up the divinity of the bodies directly and profoundly. There has to be a ‘seeing’ that you are the temples of the divine - but truly see it. We cease being familiar with each other or with ourselves. We are inspiring each other to be alive and true.

As I said before the making of love is not about reaching orgasm – either
for male or for the female. It is about entering into and the embodiment of more love. Retention of semen is not something that is needed, other than for the loving to go deeper. For me there is a natural place for orgasm to take place. Sometimes it might not even take place for the man or for the woman.

Unconditioned energy is universal love or intelligence. We can be opened by that in any moment, whether it is through tantra or some other teaching. Because all teachings really, and that is inclusive of tantra, are not about getting a better life in the future. They are about learning to be fully present, fully aware, fully true, fully embodied in a way of love - now.

© Bernie Prior Foundation 2007
http://www.bernieprior.org

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